Stone Mountain

Instead of feelin sorry for myself and sulkin about this...

I decided to take a different approach altogether...I asked my parents if I could go to Stone Mountain...and so we went....they were not too enthusiastic about it and so stopped half way...so lucky for me...I had the hilly road of 2 miles all to myself...

So…with sad and depressin music pourin out of the headphones..I began to walk...I didnt realize that I needed that fresh breath of air so badly to survive...just to breath in and relax...every step I took seemed like a million miles away from reality (maybe I was hopin that it was...) and it was soo hard to even walk first...then I began to run...very hard...feel that energy in me that needs to come out...just to exhaust myself...I realized that this is like therapy..helpin me take a step back from what is happenin and look at the whole picture...perspective on things...the outlook of my world...the big rocks seemed like hurdles that r preventin me to go away from reality..preventin to be go to a dreamworld...a heavenly place that makes me feel betta again...and then slowly I could feel the breeze on my face...feel the gush of wind strikin like a mighty sword...and I realized I was there...the top of the mountain...the getaway of my life...a happy feelin comin bak to me...and then I smiled...and looked up to see the beautiful world...the gray clouds formin and realized it was goin to rain...then I felt the raindrops on my cheeks and I smiled...

But slowly the smile became a frown...and the frown became a cry...and before I knew it I was sittin on the top of the mountain...my happy place...and began to sob...cry endlessly...all the vented tears kept in me for what seems like ages...the music still didnt stop...it made me cry harder...I didnt realize I had soo much water in my eyes...!!

( I’ll write more tom dont feel like typin...)

Questionnaire

I stole it from Smitha’s journal

____________________________________________________________________

Copy this whole list into your journal.
Bold/underline the things that are true about you.
Whatever you don't bold/underline is false.

01. I miss somebody right now
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books [Duh!]
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses
07. I love to play video games
08. I love rain

09. I've watched porn movies
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have acne free skin
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a hobby
18. I've been told I: (women) have a nice butt, (men) am packing.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I'm really, really smart (no...really, i am...you just don't know yet)
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I hate the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery
26. I need money right now!
27. I love sushi
28. I talk really, really fast (sometimes)
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have semi-long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/nails/eyelashes in the past
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look (haha...right)
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
40. I know how to do cornrows
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have mood swings
44. I think Britney Spears is hot
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past
46. I have a hidden talent …….it's just hidden from me too...
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I think that I'm popular
49. I am always single
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex
51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants
53. I love to shop
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I'm obsessed with my journal
58. I don't hate anyone
59. I'm a pretty good dancer (I think?)
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama
67. I have never been in a real relationship before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future (Definitely…)
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes
81. I'm online 24/7
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried drugs before
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past
85. I own the "South Park" movie
86. I have avoided assignments at work or school to be on journal
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy country music
89. I would die for my best friends (depends on the situation)
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story"
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a close friend's ex
99. I'm happy as of this moment

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along