This Time Around

This time around…the Braves are tryin to do somethin miraculous this year…whether it will happen or not is a question entirely upto the players…but the young rookies are definitely showing everyone around the league that u cant buy talent with money…..and the all star game is tom….lets see how these 'all stars' perform….

This time around…the 6th book of Harry Potter is coming out on Friday…pre-ordered it more than a month ago….

This time around….watched Paheli (hindi movie)…..watch it if u can…if u don’t like it….want to know y…..the songs r awesome…

This time around….have lots of volunteering commitments…work…school….dances and much more…..

This time around…this song is quite old but found it in my backed up files…..I like it…..

Once upon a time I was naïve enough to….but now I don’t believe a single word that he utters….

This time around….i wish we could define love….as much as its nice to feel and hear about..…it scares the hell out of me…..not being in love but being loved bak scares me…its like a constant evaluation that measures wat ppl's feelings are for one and other….just like u fall in love…..can you fall out of love? I believe a lot of things…but my beliefs about fallin out of love are a little too ideal and beyond practical…so I am stuck between ideal and practical…..its so easy to say 'hey those two people are in love'….just as its easy to say 'sweetheart you never loved him in the first place'….but how can anyone for that matter decide whether they really were in love or it was just a 'fake' love…ok so maybe some people can tell whether they were in love cos of crushes or infatuations and so forth……so lets say they are in love…and its for real…but wat about the love that returns...so at that point should everyone who is in love right now start thinkin….'oh man hopefully tomorrow morning this person will still love me as much and not start hating me'…….and it scares me cos how can anyone constantly be feelin this insecurity every day of their lives…..and if they don’t feel that…..how can they do it???? I am not lookin for a guarantee here…wat I am thinkin is….how can anyone be so confident about themselves to such an extent…..??? And wat happens often is not falling in love but staying in love that is harder….having this insecurity of no guarantee of their love in return but also having that same feeling stay constant??

This time around…when I think of all those people in London and the attacks…I think wat is goin on in this world? I dont know how much more death I can tolerate…day by day it is makin me more disheartened...i am losin conviction in ppl....i seem to be forgettin wat is right or wrong....I seem to want to lose faith in God....y is he doin this? y is every1 doin this? how come nobody wants to stop this…. this...insane....obsessive....hateful.....unwarranted....manslaughter.....

This time around…..It is not that I don’t have people in my life that I don’t or cant trust…it’s the lies or illusions that seem to be embedding around me those are making me not believe enough in the humanity and the world around me as much as I should….Its with me not having the confidence in all aspects in life that is lacking. There are days when life is blooming with goodness, with life and passion……then there are the others….these are the ones….There are a lot of issues about us and our lives that we cannot change, and I know that and have to live with it, and there are things in which we can change and make better but are perhaps too afraid. Change is scary. Being wrong about some choices that we made are even scarier. Not accepting our mistakes and not trying to make them right r the fundamental problems that revolve around each and every one of us….We must sacrifice in life, I know this. We all know this….Its something that is expected of us as human beings who are pure and right (most of the time). We need to try….try to accept and change….. that's all that matters...right?